Learn about the maidens
Episode 1: Bringing Home the Bacon

Join four lifetime lady gamers as we craft our real play 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons podcast. The elven warlock Arrnodel Ithel (played by Brittany Quintero), the human monk Sawyeh Noor (Naseem Etemad), and the dwarven barbarian Kara Brunehilde (Sage Stafford) set out to find their gold and glory through the storytelling of their Dungeon Master (Celeste Conowitch).

See the beginning of our heroes’ journey. From humble origins: between trying to keep kosher in pig town and yoga mat squabbles. Our three adventurers rise to the occasion as they take on their first test from the mysterious ‘Sisters of Sorrow’. What is the mystery of Middleton? Will they find the cause in time? Or will the bears get them first?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 2: Wolves, Warlocks, and Demons, Oh My!

This week our heroes further face the perils of the forest. Who is the mysterious Martin? Are darts to the butt the key to victory? Can they stop the thrall of wayward youth before things turn for the worse?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 3: Axe to the Knee

This week our heroes carry out the final leg of their quest. What is causing the curse upon Middleton? Can country farmers learn the lesson of forgiveness? Will the Maidens ever get paid?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

 

Episode 4: Look Who's Monking Now

This week our heroes find themselves in the midst of an ambush. Who is this strange Madame Fortuna? What secret does the road show hide? Can the maidens defeat these brigands?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

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Episode 5: Behind Door Number One

This week our heroes must survive the Mirrored Maze’s Horrors. Will they save the wayward bar wench? Can you contract avian flu from a macaw bite? Has anyone actually ever had fun in a fun house?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

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Episode 6: Cardinal Rule

This week the maidens must escape this magical trap before they lose more than just their way. When is a door not really a door? Are feathers the new thing for Dwarven fashion? And why, does it always have to be snakes?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

 

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Episode 7: Flock of Blows

This week our heroes find themselves squaring off against the mysterious Madame Fortuna. Are any of these folks what they seem? What’s with the dead toad stick? Is this challenge rating way too high?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

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Episode 8: Just Rewards

This week our heroes continue their battle against the troupe’s monstrosities, and things are starting to look grim. Will the Maidens survive this fight? What other tricks lie up the Sorceress’ sleeves? Have the Sisters taken this test way too far?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

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Episode 9: Into The Mist

This week our heroes find themselves victorious over the monstrous Madame Fortuna. What do the Sisters have planned for their final test? Will Kara ever shake her bird brain instincts? Are the Maidens facing their most deadly challenge yet?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 10: Snakes on the Planes

This week our heroes press on through the treacherous castle in the mist. What does this place have in store? Where are these visions coming from? How many monks does it take to catch an arrow?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 11: Axes and Allies

This week our heroes reach the final chapter of the Sisters Trial. Will the Maidens get their answers? What will the stone tell our adventurers this week? How many references can we fit in one episode?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 12: Some Strings Attached

This week our heroes learn what the mysterious sisters have in store. What are the Maidens up against? Can this web untangle itself? Will Kara ever get that whiskey?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 13: A Roc and A Hard Place

This week our heroes face the perils of a new land with dire prospects. Where have the Maidens found themselves now? Who is this strange new wizard who now leads the journey? Will the Maidens gain the answers they seek? Will Arnnodel reconcile with her newly monikered love?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 14: Veils by Comparison

This week our heroes to battle with the strange band of hunters. Will they make it out of this fight alive? When will they reach the Sisters Keep? What secrets does that mask hide?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 15: Keep of Sorrows

This week our heroes finally reach their destination. How will Sawyeh deal with her brush with the past? What wonders does the fortress hold? What new dangers lie ahead for the Maidens?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

 

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AUDIO IS OUT FOR THE FIRST 2:45 min – apologies folks. Dunno what happened, but we wouldn’t be VM without technical difficulties, lol…it’s kinda our thing at this point.

Episode 16: Three Maidens Walk Into A Bar

This week our heroes meet the inhabitants of the Elysium Keep. Where did these strange folks come from? Will our Dungeon Master remember all these NPC voices? How many ales can Kara get on the house?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Episode 17: The End of the Beginning

This week the Maidens pack their bags and head out on their first assignment as official members of the Sisters of Sorrow. What will our heroes encounter in Bastard’s Breach? Can the Maidens retrieve the wayward intelligence specialist? What dangers lie in the city’s catacombs?

Disclaimer: This episode, and several other early episodes have significantly lower audio quality than our later episodes. If you would prefer to jump in to those later episodes due to quality, check out our first recap episode which will catch you up on the story so far from Episode 1-17.

Gather round travelers to hear our tale…

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Recap: Episodes 1 - 17

This week we are mixing it up with a bonus recap episode! This is the perfect episode for new listeners who want to get up to speed on the story so far, for those who want to skip the lower audio quality of the early episodes, or for those who just want a condensed reminder of everything that has happened in our story so far. This episode won’t have any new content, just major spoilers if you aren’t caught up.

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Episode 18: Kara's Flying Circus

This week our Maidens find themselves in a psychedelic situation beneath the streets of Bastard’s Breach. Are our heroes in for a bad trip? What monsters lurk in the winding tunnels? Will they complete their quest before time runs out?

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Episode 19: Making Waves

This week our heroes perform daring feats of acrobatics. Will Kara survive her fall? What secrets lie in these dark caves? What ancient force have the Maidens stumbled upon?​

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Episode 20: Grip the Whip

This week our quest turns more mysterious as the Maidens square off with the dungeon’s aquatic inhabitants. Who made these strange caverns? What creature is whispering from the dark? Will Kara let Sawyeh & Arrnodel keep their new pet?

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Episode 21 (Part 1): Levees Break

This week our story begins with a bang as our heroes find themselves in the middle of a battle royale. Can the Maidens stop the demon’s rampage? Where did all these fey come from? What’s up with the giant glowing doors?

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Episode 21 (Part 2): Levees Break

This week we bring you a dramatic conclusion as our heroes parlay with a demon. What mysteries will the Maidens uncover? What is the source of the Breach’s water? Where in the world do we go from here?

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Episode 22: Paradise Lost

This week things get wet and wild as our heroes find themselves stranded in a far corner of the world. Will the Maidens be able to find each other? What evil lurks in this tropical place? Can our heroes make their way back to the Elysium Keep?

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Episode 23: When Dolphins Cry

This week finds our heroes in a battle to the death (Or perhaps undeath). Can the Maidens turn the tide against the nightmare creatures? Is this beholder fight everything you wanted Celeste? Has our team tempted fate for the last time?

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Episode 24: Return of the Maidens

this week the Maidens find themselves bloody and broken with a few strange allies showing up in the nick of time. Will everyone make it back to the Keep in one piece? What will the big three say about our heroes exploits? Is Sawyeh ready to face the consequences of her magical misconduct?

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Episode 25: Y Tu Agua Tambien

This week we delve into Sawyeh’s story and fill in the gaps of our stalwart’s Monk past. Can Naseem and Celeste handle the pressure of one on one? What is link between an elemental goddess and Sawyeh’s mother? Does this threat go deeper than the Maidens ever imagined?

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Episode 26: Punch Drunk Maidens

This time are heroes are left to their devices as the Keep operatives race to find answers. What ill has befallen Isolde? How is Sawyeh handling her recent blast from the past? Are Arrnodel and Aaron finally going to happen?

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Episode 27: Not That Kind Of Three Way

This week our heroes hold court at the Elysium Keep. How will Rem respond to the strange bird call? Has Kara met her unlikely match? Will Vlad’s shoulder shape ever be quantified?

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Episode 28: Trials

This week the Maidens leave the Keep, ready to resolve their strange message from the skies. What’s with all these cryptic notes? Can you believe this crazy romance? Will the Maidens find answers before time runs out?

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Episode 29: Off the Record

This week a different set of heroes find themselves in peril beneath the capitol city’s street. How does this relate to the main quest at all? What strange ancients craft such scandalous scrolls? What stirs within the ancient archives?

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Episode 30: The Passenger (Part 1)

This time our heroes face the perils of the Eladrin city. With their leader gone, and a mission to find a cure, the Maidens find themselves lured by something nefarious. Wow they really have concrete here? When is a horse not really a horse? Will Sawyeh learn the secrets of the mysterious masked man?

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Episode 30: The Passenger (Part 2)

Our heroes have been led to the ancient archives at the heart of the university. What’s up with this shiny horse? Where are the Maidens being led? Whose magic has infested this place?

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Episode 30: The Passenger (Part 3)

Our heroes are in a strange twisted hall to get to their big bad foe. How will they handle all the cats? Is gardening taking a turn for the worse? Can Sawyeh survive a big reveal?

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Recap: Episodes 18 - 30

Sometimes brevity is the soul of wit, so hear us recount the story so far. Turn back now if you do not want to know the details of Episodes 18-30, otherwise, settle in to hear the story of Arc 1: Sins of the Father.

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Episode 31: Maiden Impossible

Our heroes have returned from their trial beneath the archives, now they are back with a mission in mind! Who is this fancy new carriage guy? Will Kara find her way through the sewer depths? Will the Maidens succeed before time runs out?

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Episode 32: Shadows and Sewers

The Maidens are now waist deep in sewage and subterfuge as they race to spring Rem out of the Eladrin prison. What kind of trap have Arrnodel and Sawyeh sprung? Will Kara escape the tide of undead in one piece? What magic mystery has Valerius packed into this bag?

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Episode 33: Homeward Bound

Only a few minutes remain for the Maidens to make their miraculous escape! Can Kara slay the guardian in time? What deadly attention have our heroes drawn? Will this aerial assault be the Maidens final flight?

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Episode 34: Into the Woods

The Maidens find themselves mired in an ancient forest missing some of their companions. What new enemy is on Arrnodel’s trail? Will Celeste’s monsters ever land a hit? Can the elves help our wayward wanderers?

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Episode 35: Changes

Things get slippery as Arrnodel and Kara find the elven settlement surrounded by snakes and Sawyeh wakes up in a secluded cave separated from her party. Can our monk find the Maidens in time? Will the elven outpost survive this attack? What plans are the Sisters spinning for our heroes?

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Episode 36: Ravens Kin

Battle rages in the forest as Arrnodel and Kara are swarmed by foes from all sides. Will Sawyeh reach the party before its too late? Can the Maidens fend off the serpentine sorcerer? Will hard truths fracture our heroes’ bond?

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Episode 37: The Breakfast Club

Our heroes are left in the wake of a narrow victory and must now decide their next steps. What has been happening at the Elysium Keep? Can brunch heal a troubled heart? Will the power of friendship prevail?

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Episode 38: Hells Bells

The agents of the Elysium Keep are now reunited, and our Maidens are able to seek some well needed counsel. What is the meaning of Arrnodel’s new artifact? Will Kara and Gidget finally grab a moment of peace? Can old flames be rekindled?

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Episode 39: La Petite Mort

The Maidens are allowed to catch a breath as they wait to hear the next step for their quest. How will our heroes spend their two days off? What will the mysterious keepers ask of the Sisters? Is love in the air this episode or what???

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Episode 40: Hot Pursuit

Our heroes embark on the path to the City of Bells to meet with the mysterious Keepers, but find themselves delayed but a sudden attack. Can the Maidens stave off the unknown assailants? Will they stay cool when things get fiery? What other surprises lie in wait on the road to Ashtar?

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Episode 41: Ghost Story

Our Maidens sit down for dinner & drinks as they wait to see the keepers, but things take a spooky turn when a new friend asks for help. Can the Maidens solve the basement’s mysteries? Who is this beautiful woman from Ranna’s past? For whom does the bell toll?

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